Previously, I’ve told you about the anger problems that Lira has suffered and how our therapist recommended we deal with those moments. Unfortunately, Franc is hitting the age where his temper is flaring and he will hit anyone or anything close by to release that frustration. As a person who has struggled with anger management, I can understand his confusion about how to deal with these emotions. So, I am trying to teach him to react differently.
This is not an easy task, but it is a necessary journey if I want him to be a stable, well-balanced, self-controlled adult.
When he hits someone or something, these are the steps we are taking:
Remove the object that triggered the fight.
Typically, all arguments around our home are about a toy. So, if Franc is fighting over a toy, it has to go on top of the refrigerator or to “toy jail.”
Think about a different way to react.
We have him take some time alone in his room to think about three things he could have done differently.
After he has time to think, either Bill or I will go an talk to him about the situation. Sometimes, we use toys to role play what happened when he felt angry. We ask Franc about the things he thought of that could have helped the situation be different.
When we talk to Franc, we try to give him a step-by-step way to react in a difficult situation when his anger flares:
- Take a deep breath and blow it out.
- Think about how to act next.
- If you can’t get control of your anger, walk away.
Pray to God for help.
After our chat, we pray with him, asking God to help him grow in self-control, and we give Franc the opportunity to pray too although we do not force it.
Apologize and show love.
While it might seem silly to have a child ask for forgiveness, to hug, and to say, “I love you,” I think it is an important step in maintaining the unity in our home.
How do you deal with your child when they hit?
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