I was thinking about how we taught our daughter to use a pencil and honestly, I cannot take the credit. This was primarily done with the help of an occupational therapist but I do remember some things that might be helpful to you.
Please note that I am not a therapist and have no official training. You should consult with your doctor and/or therapist for specialized recommendations. I am just sharing things that we found helpful.
Hand Therapy to Build Muscle Tone
Our daughter had weak muscle tone in her hands. The therapist gave us a special pencil grip that would slide on and help Lira put her fingers in the right place but we also had to find ways to build her stamina.
Vertical Surfaces ~ To build muscle tone, we had her paint with water on a fence. The motion of bending her wrist up and down was helpful. We also had her use an art easel and would pin paper to the wall for her to color. Vertical surfaces were important.
Squeezing ~ Playdough and stress balls helped build the muscles in her fingers. Using playdough was actually not easy so we had to start with the softer kind and work our way up. Rolling pins were helpful too.
Stretchy Bands ~ Our therapist gave us a piece of stretchy rubber (read: BIG but thin rubber band) to place tug-of-war games. The tension strengthened her arms and wrists.
Activities to Encourage Writing
Very early in our homeschooling journey, I learned that I had to think outside the box. I gave up trying to teach penmanship and just wanted her to write… anything… that I asked her to write. So, I had to get very creative with our school lessons.
Tag Team ~ We would take turns. I write for a little while and then she writes for a little while.
Change Mediums ~ Instead of using pencils and worksheets, I tried to come up with as many different ways I could get her to write… without making her write. We used finger paint in zip-top bags, shaving cream in zip-top bags and on table tops, sidewalk chalk, paint, dry erase markers, crayons, sand… whatever I could think of.
Oral Lessons ~ Some days, we would just keep our lessons oral because it just is not worth a fight. Seriously… what would she learn if I pushed so hard there was a tantrum and tears?
Change Location ~ I did not keep school restricted to the table. We would have school outside, on the living room floor, in her bed, on the couch… A clip board is a wonderful thing. Lap desks are awesome too.
Your child is unique and cannot be fit into a cookie-cutter. Make sure that the way you approach any therapy reflects the individual needs your child has. Each day will be different. Roll with it.