If I finished this month of the Healthy Family Project, which is focused on healthy relationships, and did not bring up the topic that has been heavy on my heart for months, then I am sure I would sleep restlessly for a long time. This will be a very sensitive subject for some and I honestly mean no offense. My job is to encourage and not to criticize.
Social media is amazing, and yes, I am highly involved in every popular platform. Some of the forums I enjoy more than others, but where ever I am, I have to be careful because social media is a powerful tool that can either encourage, motivate, and support or manipulate, fracture, and destroy my relationships.
Social Media & Your Friendships
Venting feelings in an open forum can be so easy. The words slip through fingers as effortlessly as water from a faucet. Click send and those words are launched across cyberspace. The end. Or the beginning?
Oh, Be Careful Little Fingers What You Type
She just needed to find a release for her frustration. Roughly 140 characters worth of expressing a feeling that was barely containable and yet… the backlash was tremendous. Her friends… or those she thought were her friends… heaped grief upon grief at her moment of thoughtlessness and lack of restraint. She was hoping for support and understanding but the tone of her black and white words was misinterpreted, and she ended the night feeling more alone than ever as her friend count dropped.
Social Media & Your Marriage
The action of sending a friend request is implicitly simple. Too simple. Without thought and in seconds, a person can send requests to friends from childhood, high school, college… And then you see that old flame… As the arrow on your computer screen hovers momentarily over the friend button, your heart flutters a beat as a memory streaks across your mind but you quickly stifle the thought because that was a long time ago and what could it hurt?
Oh, Be Careful Little Mind What You Think
She had seen a friend stumble. A devout wife, mother, church-going woman was distracted by a private social media group that was intended to grow self-esteem but ended up leading to sensual texts and emails and almost ruined her marriage. While she hurt for her friend, she thought she was stronger and that could not happen to her. After all, he was just a memory. The relationship was dead a long time ago and a cup of coffee can be drained quickly. It should have never… she never though it would come to this.
One tiny action… one tiny click… one tiny thought… It’s a slow fade.
Social Media & Your Choices
In an effort to guard my heart and my mind, I have personally made it my goal over the last year to change how I approach social media.
- Before every click, think twice. Think three times if needed.
- Never send a friend request to a previous romantic interest.
- Judge not, but pray often.
How do you plan ahead to protect your relationships?
Well said. Thank you for this post.
Thank you for the encouragement, Jennifer. I have put this off for a looong time.
Oh this is so true. Social media is a wonderful tool, but we have to walk a fine line when using it in order to protect our relationships, especially our marriage. I think it is very wise to have boundaries for yourself as the ones you described. Another thing my husband & I do is keep our passwords available to each other. Some couples I know even share FB, Twitter or Instagram accounts. It is not an untrust issue but a trust issue. It assures your spouse by saying, ” I have nothing to hide & you are welcome to go in my accounts to take a look anytime you feel the need to.”
Wow. I never even thought about mentioning that we share our passwords, Becky. I am so glad you mentioned it because while it’s just such a natural thing for us, that might be a new idea to some. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
You’re welcome 🙂 thank you for writing this article. Social media is the cause of many failed marriages. We must always be on guard, hold true to our boundaries, exhibit self discipline, and never open doors from the past that were shut for a reason. And yes, people use social media as a soapbox sometimes & that’s ok, but when we vent, there is always someone there to misinterpret our message. People don’t judge the intention they judge the action. And now I’m off my soapbox….lol. Thanks again for your message. Idk, how or when I got signed up to receive your emails, I just know they started popping up in my inbox. Glad they did 🙂 Blessings to you & your family!
Awww… Am I am happy that you found me in your inbox too because quality comments make my day! 😀
This was well said. This is good advice for social media users of any age. I’m glad I found your website. I’ll be coming back to visit often.