This year, I have one. simple. goal. for my new year. I am resolving to be more selfish.
Do you need to read that again? Can you believe I actually said that?! I want to be more selfish.
Each year, I make a list of goals that involve my family, finances, home, and business. Somewhere on the list I will squeeze in something for myself like “lose weight” or “read a book a month,” and every year, that is the first goal to be broken because I am intent on seeing the other goals completed successfully.
Wait… scratch that. Seeing the other resolutions accomplished successfully is not the only reason why I give up on myself. The majority of the problem is that I feel guilty spending time working on my personal issues.
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If I curl up with a book in the evenings, I feel the pull of the computer to work on the blog. When I think about eating something healthy and well-balanced, I remember how expensive produce is and I save it for my children and husband.
Feeling the pull to be selfish
After spending three weeks of praying, resting, and reflecting, I realized that my sacrifices come with a price.
By giving up a healthy diet, I shorten my life and have less energy to spend doing the things that matter.
By giving up time for exercise, I leave myself stressed and out of shape.
By giving up time for a leisurely shower or to read a book, I grow weary and depressed.
None of these sacrifices will help me reach my ultimate goal for life… to bring glory to God in all that I do and to serve my family in such a way that they grow to know and love Him.
So, this year, my only resolution is to be more selfish.
- I will wash my face and brush my teeth every morning even as the toddler begs for something else to drink.
- I will take time to exercise by pushing my children on the swing and chasing them around the yard instead of watching from the computer.
- I will read a chapter out of a real book (with pages) every night before bed, ignoring the notifications on my iPad.
- I will eat a well balanced diet, even if it is only a freshly juiced beverage, and realize that giving up healthy food is not serving my family if it is robbing them of time with me.
When the guilt comes… and it will…
- I will tell the voice in my head that the toddler can wait 15 minutes because waiting will teach her patience and that the world is not just about her.
- I will tell the voice that nothing in my business is as important as being actively involved in my children’s business of play.
- I will tell the voice that working up until the moment I close my eyes at night is not an option.
- I will tell the voice that I need vitamins just as much as my family does and I can choose to buy more produce by not buying more chocolate.
Life is about choices and the goals I make today will have a significant impact on my tomorrow. By choosing to be selfish now, I will be able to enjoy my family more, live longer (hopefully), be healthier, grow wiser, and be more pleasant.
Do you need to be selfish this year?