This year, I have one. simple. goal. for my new year. I am resolving to be more selfish.
Do you need to read that again? Can you believe I actually said that?! I want to be more selfish.
Each year, I make a list of goals that involve my family, finances, home, and business. Somewhere on the list I will squeeze in something for myself like “lose weight” or “read a book a month,” and every year, that is the first goal to be broken because I am intent on seeing the other goals completed successfully.
Wait… scratch that. Seeing the other resolutions accomplished successfully is not the only reason why I give up on myself. The majority of the problem is that I feel guilty spending time working on my personal issues.
(A video is embedded. Can’t see it? Click to view it on YouTube.)
If I curl up with a book in the evenings, I feel the pull of the computer to work on the blog. When I think about eating something healthy and well-balanced, I remember how expensive produce is and I save it for my children and husband.
Feeling the pull to be selfish
After spending three weeks of praying, resting, and reflecting, I realized that my sacrifices come with a price.
By giving up a healthy diet, I shorten my life and have less energy to spend doing the things that matter.
By giving up time for exercise, I leave myself stressed and out of shape.
By giving up time for a leisurely shower or to read a book, I grow weary and depressed.
None of these sacrifices will help me reach my ultimate goal for life… to bring glory to God in all that I do and to serve my family in such a way that they grow to know and love Him.
So, this year, my only resolution is to be more selfish.
- I will wash my face and brush my teeth every morning even as the toddler begs for something else to drink.
- I will take time to exercise by pushing my children on the swing and chasing them around the yard instead of watching from the computer.
- I will read a chapter out of a real book (with pages) every night before bed, ignoring the notifications on my iPad.
- I will eat a well balanced diet, even if it is only a freshly juiced beverage, and realize that giving up healthy food is not serving my family if it is robbing them of time with me.
When the guilt comes… and it will…
- I will tell the voice in my head that the toddler can wait 15 minutes because waiting will teach her patience and that the world is not just about her.
- I will tell the voice that nothing in my business is as important as being actively involved in my children’s business of play.
- I will tell the voice that working up until the moment I close my eyes at night is not an option.
- I will tell the voice that I need vitamins just as much as my family does and I can choose to buy more produce by not buying more chocolate.
Life is about choices and the goals I make today will have a significant impact on my tomorrow. By choosing to be selfish now, I will be able to enjoy my family more, live longer (hopefully), be healthier, grow wiser, and be more pleasant.
Do you need to be selfish this year?
Excellent post! I have a huge garden tub, and I use it! (Minus the toe ring and the glass of wine, lol.) Before I take a shower/bath, I announce to my household, “I am taking a shower/bath. What does this mean?” To which they reply, “Don’t disturb you!” I have them well trained. 🙂
I need to teach my family about this phenomena! LOL Actually, I did see a small milestone when my oldest came running into my bathroom to tell me something, stopped short, and left. I had to call her back and she said, “I was going to tell you something but realized you needed privacy.” Angels sang.
Love it! I’m taking more time for myself this year as well. I, too, find myself letting my children wait. It is good for them as many time they find another way get it done without me. This not only gets me off the hook, but helps them think and figure it out on their own. Enjoy those showers, Tabitha!
Good for you, Tracy. I am still learning in this parenting gig and getting my children to problem solve is high on my agenda this year. 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement.
What? Are you kidding me? We are allowed to take time for ourselves??? I’ve spent the last 16 (almost 17) years of my life neglecting myself and serving the person who looks like me only smaller :/ Hmpfh!! I’m going to take a long hot bath! Thank you, Tabitha 🙂
LOL, Trixie. “Looks like you only smaller.” I love that, but not the part about you denying yourself for 16 years. Make sure you have LOTS of bubbles. 🙂
Ah, I love this! And that image really makes me want to go curl up with my nook in the tub! lol I actually resolved recently to take a nice relaxing bath at least once a week and start taking mini breaks a few times a day when I can just do something I enjoy – crocheting for 10 minutes before nap time is over, drinking a chai tea latte in the afternoon, reading in between working, etc. This is a great post – thanks for the reminder and lesson that we need to put ourselves first in some ways to make sure we can do our best to take care of others.
I am thinking about having tea time during rest time before I dive into social media. I’ve never been a tea drinker but since I am making all kinds of changes, maybe I should try it. 🙂 Enjoy taking time for YOU today.
Fabulous post, Tabitha. On the tea note- even my boys love tea parties. 🙂 Now, off to shower.
We are going to have some clean moms this year. 🙂 I love it.
Such a great post and I can so relate. Here is my little admission. I watched the video the other day and then today, it didn’t look like I was going to have time for a shower (didn’t have one yesterday either) and your song came to mind so I just played it for my kids, announced “mommy needs a shower. today you make your own breakfast” and after I finish this comment, I am heading up to get clean. So thank you!!!
Now I am blushing. Maybe I should do a children’s album. Subliminal messaging. 😉
Thank you…thank you…thank you I was really trying to figure out if I should do two meals at dinner or just become creative because for too long I have put off healthy eating because the husband and kids just frown up at the thought of healthy. I am only 31 and I swear I look so worn out and I declare that I will take better care of myself so that I can better care for my family. This was such a confirmation for me 🙂
I will turn 40 this year. Wow. And I look much older because I have let myself be trampled on. Being a mom is an amazing thing. I love it. But I think my sacrificing has created a more negative situation than it has done good.
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Because my husband and children grimace at the idea of eating healthily, I have procrastinated on a healthy diet for far too long. Either I need to start eating two meals at supper or I need to find a new way to make dinner interesting.