Please remember that Autism Spectrum Disorders are very diverse and no two children are alike. I am not a therapist or a doctor. All I can share is what has worked for us but our techniques are not guaranteed to work for you.
Lira was non-verbal until about 3 years old. All I wanted was to hear “Ma-Ma.”
I picked up on her Autism at 15 months, and we started Early Intervention before age two. As I look back, our early start really helped put Lira where she is today.
Step One ~ Pointing & Choosing
I watched every session with the speech therapist and applied those ideas to our daily life. The first step was teaching her to choose what she wanted. Since Lira did not point, this was how we started encouraging her to communicate. I would give her two choices, saying the word for each, and encourage her to point to which she wanted. “Lira, do you want milk or juice? Point to what you want.”
To encourage her to point, we would play a game where I would touch my index finger to her index finger. (Kind of like E.T. and Elliot in the movie.)
Another thing we would do is point out things that we would see, making a concentrated effort to actually point. I had no idea how little Bill and I would actually point until we started doing this. I had to remember that children learn by example.
Step Two ~ Using Words
To teach her to talk, I would show her an object, say the word, and then touch the object to my chin, say the word. Then, if she was willing, I would touch the object to her chin and say the word. If she would say the word, she would get an M&M. (Funny that she would not eat them due to her sensitivity to textures but she liked collecting them.)
I always tried to direct her attention to my mouth. Still, to this day, I will often touch my chin and tell my children, “Look at me.” I just became programmed to do that constantly and habits are hard to break.
Step Three ~ Conversational Language
When Lira finally began to speak, it was in echoes. She knew the episodes of Dora the Explorer word for word. She would repeat what she had learned from Dora and interject into conversation whether it fit or not. During this phase, I remember she had a lot of tantrums. In the heat of the moment, I failed to realize that her tantrums were actually a result of her frustration at our failure to understand what she was trying to tell us, but we dealt with the tantrums firmly. It was always okay to get upset but you had to go to your room and stay there until you could calm down. The rule applied to everyone in the family.
As her speech continued to develop, her word choices were extremely formal but typically, they made more sense. We had to be very straight-forward. No jokes. No riddles. No sarcasm. It was harder on our fathers than on anyone else. They like to tease. You could not tease with Lira. Everything had to be explained to her in a literal way. Once you explained a joke, she would laugh because everyone else had. As futile as that seemed to me, now I know that we were actually training her to be social.
Now, Lira speaks clearly and her word choices fit. She will still correct other people when they have problems with subject-verb agreement but I have noticed lately, that even Lira has been making a few mistakes. Is it crazy to be excited about that?
Ideas for You ~
If you have a non-verbal child, the following is a video that I found extremely insightful. Hopefully, these techniques might work for you.
What tips have you used successfully to teach your child with Autism to talk?
Our son was diagnosed with Childhood Apraxia of Speech at the age of 2. He had lots of sounds but I didn’t get to hear Momma either, until he was 3. It was, in fact, the only word he had that contained consonant sounds– for a very long time. We taught him some basic sign language from age 1 until the words finally came, and he was difficult to understand until he was about 5 or 6. It’s a long road and now at 11 he still doesn’t get innuendo or riddles, and idioms and sarcasm are hard for him to grasp, but he’s getting better. I still feel like we’re training him a lot of the time but every little bit helps.
Absolutely. Every tiny bit helps. Sometimes I feel silly explaining why a riddle or joke is funny but at the same time, I am helping Lira makes those connections and hopefully, one day those things will just be second-nature for her.
Hi penny! 🙂 I just found your blog today through pinterest as I was looking for homeschooling tips for homeschooling four little ones. I just found out I’m pregnant today,so was looking for encouragement and suggestions as my oldest is 7 and has Autism (nonverbal till three as well,we’ve seen tremendous improvement through a gluten free diet and high omega 3s) I’m really happy the Lord led me to your blog. It seems we already have a bit in common. I’m a huge AIG fan and have been interested in learning more about Apologia…would you be willing to write a post on that curriculum?I’d love to see what it looks like “in action”.
Hello, I just found your blog today, and I must say I was touched. My brother has Autism and the rest of my siblings (four others) have aspergers. So I know your struggles. Are you doing any therapies, like ABA or RDI? We found a big difference, when we went on a gluten and dairy free diet, and he really struggles with speech, when he has corn or soy. And not make yourself depressed, by saying nonverbal. Our RDI consultant calls him preverbal. 🙂
“Preverbal” I love that!
I have two sons both are autistic both non vet a I don’t know. What I gona do it
Hi, my little boy also has autism. There is plenty of help out there, don’t feel hopeless! There are great sites like this one, and many other resources as well so that parents, and professionals can share and help these precious children where they are at. What state do you live in? There are many resources that the state provides as well…Here are a few websites that offer plenty of information including vendors, insurance information and various resources per state: http://www.tacanow.org, http://www.autismspeaks.org. These sites even have live chat, or a number you can call to get assistance. If your children are above the age of three, the school district should offer assistance as well. Just remember you are not alone on this journey!
Hi just came across your blog and really interested about the chin touching we will be trying this from tomorrow. Its hard work for us as family but the rewards of just hearing a sound come out of our little one makes it all worth it. Thanks for the great ideas x
I’m so glad I could help, Emma. Wishing you much success!
Hello, my son is 2 1/2 years old and all we have so far is some baby babble. Is the past few weeks we have gained pointing, and if i say “Go get the ball”, “where are the cars?” “go bye bye” “where are your shoes?” “lets go night night”, and “bite bites” he follows the prompts and understands =) this is a big deal for us. My son used to say light ( “ite”) but hasnt said that word in a while. Other than that….just babble. He will be three in september. we have him in help me grow, speech therapy, and hes starting a special needs preschool in the fall. Any and all encouragement you could send my way would be greatly appreciated. I am terrified he will never talk. We have a diagnosis of developmentally delayed. I just need a little encouragement and hope.
Hi, just came across this website today, as I am homeschooling my 8 yr old who has autism, and found the home school organization section quite helpful! I just want to say, be encouraged–it is absolutely wonderful that your little one understands what’s being said to him, and that he is pointing spontaneously–this is huge! Babbling is wonderful as well. As parents it sounds as though you are doing exactly what needs to be done, having had him assessed, placing him in an early intervention classroom where they will likely focus more intensely on the areas of his need, having him in speech therapy, and working with him at home–you guys are absolutely on the right track! Just remember that he is still young, and making gains weekly it sounds like 🙂 that’s quite wonderful and significant. Just continue to be as involved as you sound like you have been, overseeing every therapy/school program that he is part of. I liken it to being a manager at the most important job ever! It sound like your son is making good and sound progress; just keep up the awesome work, and remember ‘love always believes’–when we look into their little eyes, and we see God’s workmanship, it compels us to keep fighting–your little one will get to where he needs to be, especially with a relentlessly loving, momma who’s just as fierce an advocate! 🙂
This is a great article with really helpful tips for parents with non-verbal child.
We’d like to introduce Socky App by Ola Mundo. SOcky is communication app that helps families communicate remotely with kids with ASD through illustrations and multiple choice questions. It’s free and is available for both Android and iOS.
Follow us on Facebook or Twitter, and we’d love to answer any questions you might have. We also share inspiring stories and helpful information to the ASD community. Thank you and see you there! 🙂
Im soo happy to hear autism baby news
anyone to help me, my baby is now 4 yrs but he is just speak few words like mamy and dady only and spend a lot of time to jump and raise voices, so is he going to talk, im so sad.
Good day
i am a lady who lives in Africa and has a baby boy who is 2 and has just been diagnosed with autism.
please assist me with therapies that can assist with his speech and socialisation.
rules rules rules…. why because as a non neurotypical or so found out-
after our pumpkin arrived with autism knocking on the door right after…was informed that pumpy lumpy was not the only one who was autistic!
freakout dance,
hub began to lay out safety guidelines such as no twetfaceEmail,
isolation and rejection has been as much of a problem as the autism
with educational consultants and lawyers in tow, no one out of specialists
pros, dxs phdsxyzs –
not only do not agree they shug us off
no answers, endless trials with this program and that an endless money drain year after year after year
who to talk to?
face off with seeming failure day in and day out, some days turn into the next
with little rest
fighting chemical damage with yet more
chemicals seems, ah,
unfruitful
who to talk to?
autifive-
grace
My 4 yr old has autism. She echoes a lot of what I say but doesn’t hold a conversation. How did you teach your daughter to stop echolalia?
Thanks!
Hi just found your website. Just started reading, looks pretty good!!
Feeling pretty low today, just had baby no.12 and I have a 5 year old ASD non verbal, he has really got hard to handle. Homeschooled all my kids except my ASD as I feel he needs the help from the special school, I think it is me that needs the break.
My 15year old daughter has taught him so much! He can count to 10 ( basically his only speech) he can sort reconise numbers, colours, shapes, has very good receptive language but has huge meltdowns because he can’t get out what he wants. I want to homeschool him but I don’t know how too.
Some days are overwhelming with 4 other normal kids to school, 5 adult children ( who like time with mum) a 2year old and baby. The 5 year old ASD takes a lot of time!
I just pay for wisdom, grace and patience and that my boy will speak!