This post is linked up with the iHomeschool Network’s Overcoming Adversity blog hop.
On the windowsill in our kitchen is a plant with lovely green and purple foliage. I once considered throwing the plant away but then God began to speak to me through this plant, not in an audible voice, but through my reflections on how this plant has struggled to overcome adversity and survived with beauty and grace. This plant gives me the courage to face difficult days, especially when I am faced with criticism about our homeschool lifestyle.
This plant was first a couple of tiny seeds placed inside a terrarium by my children that I never expected it to grow. The kit did not get the best reviews on Amazon and so I fully expected it to become trash within a few weeks. Imagine my surprise when it began to grow.
I have never watered the plant and have never removed the dome of the terrarium. One day, I noticed something very strange. One tiny leaf had pushed through one of three small holes in the top of the terrarium’s plastic dome.
You see, to fully appreciate the adversity that this plant has overcome, you have to step back and see the entire picture.
If you are facing criticism about your decision to homeschool, especially from family, take a step back and consider the root of their concerns.
How to answer your family when they don’t agree with homeschool
(Video embeded. Please click through from email to view.)
Tips to remember when dealing with homeschool critics
Be a team with your spouse
Bill and I find it very important to answer our family in every situation where our judgment is questioned as a unified team. We pray over the situation together before we act, and when we answer, we answer together.
Consider the person’s perspective
As we are praying over a tense situation, Bill and I try to consider from where the root of this criticism developed. Wanting to always see the good in people, I want to give each person the “benefit of the doubt” and believe that their opinion might just be misguided.
Speak with grace
Never answer a question with hostility. Animosity will only bred more conflict. Make sure your answers are seasoned with grace and remember that ultimately, your decision to homeschool is between you, your spouse, and the Lord.
Great tips, Tabitha. Love the part about considering the other person’s perspective. Hard to do, for sure, but even when their judgements are untrue or unfair, they almost always come from some sort of hurt that person has dealt with.
I appreciate your encouragement, Jamie. I really struggle with keeping perspective in any situation where I feel attacked but I have found that it really does help gain and understand of that person’s assumptions. I have often found that their opinions are simply out of ignorance or fear of the unfamiliar.
Great tips! Made me more aware of others concerns!
Interesting and wonderful advice! Very tough to do when you feel attacked and judged, but what a wonderful way to handle it gracefully.
I have to admit, I am feeling a bit angry and offended with some reactions we are getting as we announce our home school plan (although I have been able to hide my feelings and bite my tongue), but I will pray for the strength, patience, and understanding as we go forward to do as you did. Thank you!
Thank you for the general advice on handling family members who oppose our homeschooling choice. My parent-in-laws used to be vehemently opposed to homeschooling and they would recount to us stories of socially-disabled homeschoolers. Those stories happened before we had kids and since then we have avoided the topic with them. In the last couple years, they have had some displeasure with the public school system and three of their grandkids have done Montessori instead of public. So they appear to be opening up to alternative schooling options. I’m still not looking forward to telling them we will be officially homeschooling next year. I’ve avoided telling them because my confidence is low and my track record is unproven so far. I really don’t need their negative comments discouraging me.
Along the same vein, my husband’s brother has been a verbal bully to my husband and I’m concerned that the brother will take to mocking us for homeschooling. I may have to just tell him, “If you don’t have something good to say, don’t say anything at all.”
It seems like the in-laws won’t stop criticizing until they have seen results. And in the case of the brother-in-law, he may never stop unless I tell him to say nothing. He doesn’t appear to be concerned about my boys, rather he may be concerned about his family image being tarnished.
We don’t flaunt homeschooling. We are independently-minded in our parenting choices and quietly do our own thing; but if our in-laws want to know, we tell them what we’re up to. I’ll keep praying for our interactions with these people.