Do your children struggle with self esteem problems? This self-esteem object lesson dives into how to teach your children to recognize those lies, replace them with the truth, and build a stronger, healthier view of who they really are.
Ever thought about the labels we give ourselves? Like when you say, “I am…” and follow it with something about yourself? Sometimes, those labels can be lies that others or even we put on ourselves, and they can really mess with our self-esteem.
How much more does it hurt when we see our children struggling with the same problem?
But what if I told you that there’s a way to fight back against those lies and teach your children to see themselves the way God sees them?
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the way a person thinks about themselves.
A person’s self-esteem includes:
- Self image – how a person sees themselves
- Self worth – how valuable a person feels they are
Your self-esteem has been shaped since you were born by what you have heard, seen, and experienced. Self-esteem is also shaped by the relationships you have and the culture around you.
Self-esteem bank
If you think of self-esteem as a bank, you can imagine that positive words and life experiences deposit into your bank account while negative words and life experiences subtract.
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If your bank account is full, the balance is positive. When too much has been subtracted, your account balance is negative.
This analogy explains why some people struggle with low or negative self-esteem while others have good or positive self-esteem.
Labels that become lies
Self-esteem can also be described as labels you place on yourself.
When you meet someone new and they ask, “Who are you?” it’s common to answer with “I am…” and follow it with your name.
That’s a pretty easy scenario and doesn’t require a lot of thought because your name is a label that was chosen for you.
But when the world demands, “Who are you?” finding a response can make us struggle against all of the information gathered throughout our lives.
It does not help that the world, or society, seems to dictate to us “You are THIS” or “You are THAT” forcing us to choose a label, which often leaves us feeling damaged.
Even worse, there are moments when others speak carelessly to us. Bullies in childhood. Adults in our lives. Teachers, coworkers, even church leaders.
Words spoken in anger bury deep in our minds. They seem to add to the pile of lies we believe about ourselves.
Low self-esteem
From my personal experience during periods when I was wounded often, I felt persuaded to accept all these labels as fact even though some were lies. I would get confused about who I was, and my self-esteem dipped into a negative balance. I even struggled with depression.
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In those dark moments when we are all alone looking into the mirror and asking ourselves, “Who are you?” the answers can grow meaner than anything you would ever say out loud.
Too much self-esteem
While self reflection is important when we are aligning ourselves with God’s Word, we can spend too much time thinking about ourselves and become self-centered.
Too much self-esteem drifts into pride. Then, pride triggers a long list of sins such as selfishness, rage, loss of self control, hatred, jealousy, and more.
What Scripture talks about self-esteem?
There is not a specific passage in the Bible that mentions self-esteem. However, there are many verses that apply to the lies in our minds, which result from having a negative or too positive self-esteem.
Have you had any of these thoughts about yourself?
- I am ugly.
- I am unloved and all alone.
- I am dumb.
- I am stuck like this forever.
- I am free to do whatever I want.
- I am not good enough.
- I am a burden to those around me.
- I am never going to fit in.
- I am stuck with a life that has no significance.
- I am never going to be loved.
- I am never going to have a good life until I have ___.
- I am (either) too young or too old.
- I am ashamed of my life.
- I am always going to struggle with ___.
- I am worthless.
We can even tell ourselves lies about who God is and how He cares for us.
- I am ignored by God.
- I am never going to please God.
- I am not usable for God.
- I am never going to hear God speak to me.
Why is it important to use the Bible when teaching self-esteem?
When a person has low self-esteem, the self-talk often starts with “I am…” and is followed by a negative expression.
Take a look again at the list of lies rattling in our thoughts. They all start with “I am.” Since that is the same way we introduce ourselves to people, are we literally assuming those lies as our identity?
Where does our identity come from?
Who goes by the name “I AM” in the Bible? Almighty God!
“Then Moses said to God, “Indeed, when I come to the children of Israel and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they say to me, ‘What is His name?’ what shall I say to them?”
And God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” And He said, “Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’ ”
And doesn’t the Bible tell us that God made us in His image?
“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
Then couldn’t it be implied that when we accept the lies, twist our identity, and say, “I am…[insert negative here]” we are actually blaspheming the name of God?
“You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.”
By accepting the lies and making them part of who we are, we are bending to the will of the enemy and not of our Father.
If we can pinpoint the lie in our thoughts and put it through the filter of God’s Word, we will see ourselves the way God sees us.
Self Image Object Lesson
The purpose of this object lesson is to help children and teenagers to recognize the lies they believe and find the Scriptures that prove those statements are false.
Supplies:
- I AM statements and Replacing Lies with God’s Truth Handout (printable here)
- A drawing on the chalkboard or a sheet paper of a stick person or blank gingerbread man
- Tape
- Scissors
Available to view the Self Esteem Object Lesson on YouTube HERE.
Download the printable lesson guide HERE.
To prepare for the lesson, print and cut apart the I AM and GOD SAYS I AM statements.
You can cut them apart leaving the lie connected to the matching Scripture and then fold them in half.
Or, if you prefer, make a mark on the back (a number or color) and cut them completely apart, using the mark you made to match them.
DOWNLOAD: Replacing the Lie Lesson Plan
Decide whether you will draw a shape to represent a person on a whiteboard or if you need to find one (using Google Images) to print.
Thinking negative thoughts about yourself
Place the drawing of your person where students can see. You can give your “person” a name and even add details like how old the person is, their hobbies, their family life, whatever you choose to make the “person” more relatable to your students.
Say: “[Name of person] doesn’t like himself very much. When no one is around and he is alone with his thoughts, he can think some really mean things about himself.”
Begin placing some of the lies on the “person,” attaching them with tape.
As you place the lies on the “person,” read them to the students.
Ask: “Has there been a time when you have shared these same thoughts?”
Say: “I think there are times when we all have some of these lies in our minds.”
Directing their attention back to the statements, ask: “What do all of these statements have in common?”
The answer you are seeking is that the statements all begin with the phrase “I am.”
Made in God’s Image
Ask your students: Is there someone in the Bible who goes by the name “I AM”?
Read Exodus 3:13-14:
“Then Moses said to God, “Indeed, when I come to the children of Israel and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they say to me, ‘What is His name?’ what shall I say to them?”
And God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” And He said, “Thus you shall say to the children of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’ ”
Say: So then… one of the names of God is “I AM.”
Ask: “In whose image are you and I made?”
Read Genesis 1: 27:
“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
Ask: So what does this mean?
Allow the students time to respond to see if they can reach this conclusion.
Say: Does this mean that every time we say “I am [blank]” we are actually saying that God is [blank}?
Read Exodus 20:7:
“You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.”
Say: When we label ourselves with lies, we are not only criticizing something God made but we might be blaspheming the name of God.
Seeking the Truth
Ask: So how then can we recognize the lies in our minds? We need to know what the Bible says about us.
Pass out the Replacing Lies with God’s Truth Handout (optional.)
RELATED: Renewing Your Mind; Controlling Your Thoughts Object Lesson
Say: These verses are crucial for battling the lies in our minds. By memorizing these Scriptures, we can then battle the enemy. Let’s look at the lies we believe again.
NOTE: You may want to refer to the fact that even Jesus used Scripture to battle the devil when He was being tempted in the wilderness. (Matthew 4:1-11)
Refer back to the “person” illustration and point out one of the lies. Ask the students to find the verse that contradicts this lie on the handout.
If you have chosen not to distribute the handouts, you can pull the corresponding Scripture card from your stack and tape it over or in the place of the lie.
Read the Scriptures one at a time and replace each lie. Do as many as time allows.
Say: “Next time one of these lies gets stuck in your head, disagree. Don’t accept the lie as fact. Tell yourself, “That isn’t true,” and repeat the Scripture that shares how God thinks of you. Then, you can turn the lie into the Truth.”
Explain to the students that it is helpful to rephrase the lie as a truth based on God’s Word. You can use the “Replacing Lies with God’s Truth” handout for examples.
Frequently asked questions when teaching children and teensagers about self-esteem
As you have worked through this object lesson, you might still have some questions.
How can I improve my self-esteem?
Improving self-esteem from a Christian perspective involves recognizing your worth in God’s eyes.
Remember that you are uniquely created by God, made in His image, and deeply loved. Instead of focusing on flaws or comparing yourself to others, shift your focus to the truth that God has a purpose for your life.
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Spend time in prayer, asking God to help you see yourself as He sees you. Memorize Scriptures that affirm God’s thoughts towards you.
Surround yourself with supportive people who uplift and encourage you, and practice gratitude for the gifts and talents God has given you.
Building self-esteem is a journey, but with God’s guidance, you can grow in confidence and peace.
How do you teach self-esteem to students?
Teaching self-esteem to students involves creating a supportive and encouraging environment where they feel valued and respected.
Start by helping students recognize their unique strengths and abilities, encouraging them to celebrate their achievements, no matter how small.
Use positive reinforcement to build their confidence and provide constructive feedback that focuses on effort rather than just results.
Incorporate activities that promote self-reflection, such as journaling or group discussions, where students can share their experiences and learn to appreciate their own and others’ qualities.
It’s also important to teach them about resilience, helping them understand that setbacks are part of life and do not define their worth.
Integrating these practices with lessons on kindness, empathy, and mutual respect can help students develop a healthy sense of self-esteem and foster a positive classroom community.
How can I help improve my child’s self-esteem?
Helping your child improve their self-esteem begins with showing them unconditional love and support.
Make sure they know they are valued not for what they do, but simply for who they are. Encourage their efforts rather than just their successes, and help them see that mistakes are part of learning and growing.
Teach them to rely on God’s love and to understand that they are wonderfully made with unique gifts and talents.
Spend quality time with them, listening to their thoughts and feelings, and encourage their interests.
By building a foundation of love, faith, and positive reinforcement, you can help your child develop a strong and healthy sense of self-worth.
Can therapy help raise self-esteem?
Yes, therapy can be a valuable tool for raising self-esteem.
A therapist can help you identify negative thought patterns and beliefs that might be contributing to low self-esteem and work with you to develop healthier, more positive ways of thinking about yourself.
Therapy provides a safe space to explore your feelings, build self-awareness, and learn practical strategies for boosting confidence.
From a Christian perspective, therapy can also help you align your self-perception with the truth of your worth in God’s eyes. Integrating therapeutic techniques with faith can offer a balanced approach to nurturing a stronger sense of self-esteem.
Additional Self Esteem Resources
- Don’t Believe Everything You Think: Why Your Thinking Is The Beginning & End Of Suffering (Beyond Suffering) by Joseph Nguyen – Amazon
- Revealed: Discovering Your True Identity in Christ for Teen Boys and Young Men by Alex Kendrick and Stephen Kendrick – Amazon
- Winning the War in Your Mind for Teens: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life by Craig Groeschel – Amazon
- Self-Esteem Workbook For Teen Girls: A Faith-Based Guide to Build Confidence, Embrace Individuality, Overcome Insecurities, and Step into the Unique Masterpiece God Created You to Be (Boldly Me) by Hannelie Van Der Merwe – Amazon
- Speaking Life Into Your I Am: Bible-Based Affirmations To Break Your Limitations & Activate Authentic Self-Esteem by Cassandra Mack – Amazon
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