Talking About Drugs and Alcohol with Your Kids

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Adelphi University. The opinions and text are all mine.

Growing up, I learned at an early age about one grandfather who struggled with alcoholism, another grandfather who was addicted to gambling, and other family members who were habitual drug users. I knew that drugs and alcohol were dangerous because I heard the stories. My parents made me aware of the potential because of the difficulties they had endured as children.

I think these conversations saved me from making terrible decisions later in life.

After a recent poll by Adelphi University, Dr. Audrey Freshman shared five tips for how to share with your children about drugs and alcohol.

1) Teach children how to manage their emotions.

As a person who has struggled with episodes of rage and depression, I have often thought how susceptible I would be to addictive behavior and that perhaps my struggle with overeating is proof of that.

Recognizing that potential for addiction in my own life prompts me to teach my children how they need to remain calm and find a healthy release for negative emotions so they will not later come to rely on drugs or alcohol for an escape. Dr. Freshman says, “It is important to teach a child that their negative feelings will pass and to model ways to cope through exercise, relaxation and healthy diversion.”

Our family has successfully used a short animated film called Squeeze the Angries Out to help teach our children about anger management even at a very young age.

2) Talk to your children early in life about drugs and alcohol.

Dr. Freshman insists that is it never too early to begin educating children about drugs because “they witness commercials advertising pain and psychological relief aides” as they watch television.

I will admit that I have not been proactively teaching my children about following a doctor’s instructions with medication and how to dispose of the bottles when the treatment is complete.

The same way we teach children not to drink bleach we must teach them never to take someone else’s pills or to give their own away.

Since I have medication that I must take daily, I need to practice this with my own children. I can show them the label and ask, “Who’s name is on this label? That’s right. Mine. So this is my medication that my doctor has given to me, and no one else can take it but me because my name is on the bottle.”

3) Teach children how to refuse drugs and alcohol.

As a child of the 1980’s, I grew up with a “Just say no!” education. Because I knew that other people were saying “no,” it was easier for me to stay away from danger. However, in our current age, the push to refrain from drug and alcohol use is overshadowed by legalization and glamorization through the media.

Imagine the confusion in a child’s mind as they grow and face these mature decisions!

By using role play, Dr. Freshman recommends practicing social situations where your child will need to make a choice. Also, build an escape for situations by having a curfew and arranging for transportation home prior to any party or event.

But I don’t think we need to wait until they are at an age where they can attend an event alone in order to teach them to respond. Just as we teach our children to run from strangers, we can teach them to say “no” to drugs.

4) Have dinner together.

Studies have repeatedly shown that children from families who eat together around the dinner table are far less likely to experiment with drugs and alcohol. Why? Dr. Freshman suggests that by giving a set time for family conversation helps a child “assimilate the goals and expectations of the family and internalize them as they gain independence through modeled behavior.”

And speaking of modeled behavior, we cannot expect our children to make wise decisions if we struggle with that ourselves. Repeatedly indulging in alcohol in front of our children will desensitize them to the danger.

5) Show children that seeking help is a sign of strength.

Repeatedly, I have talked with many readers who have struggled to find help for their anger, depression, and stress management issues. So many people consider seeing a counselor as a sign of weakness and try to power through situations alone. While I am sure some have tackled these issues on their own and succeeded, seeking help yields a greater likelihood of a positive outcome.

We can all benefit from “coaching” when we wish to learn new skills, or plan a life direction, or encounter a difficult time in our lives. Help your child to embrace help!

Recently, I was working with my son on Scripture memory. He would beat his palm against his forehead as if the answer could be pounded from his brain. I had to stop him and say, “Sweetheart, if you need help remembering, tell me. That is what I am here for. Just say, ‘Help.'”

Even at a very young age, we can show our children that it takes strength to realize when we cannot find the solution on our own.

As parents, we understand the dangers of drugs and alcohol, and chances are that if you are reading this blog, you are a very proactive parent. Let’s challenge one another to not get so wrapped up in the daily grind and we overlook the obvious conversations we need to have with our children or that we miss those simple moments where we can teach powerful life skills.

To hear more from Dr. Freshman, please see the Adelphi University’s poll results.

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Adelphi University. The opinions and text are all mine.